Nebraska Journal Herald Editorial & Letters to the Editor

This Fremont corn maze is a scam! Got lost for hours, and the “exit” was just a tractor path. My boots are muddier than a pigpen. Charge me $10 to wander in circles? Next year, I’m sticking to my backyard for free confusion!  Harlan, Fremont

Lincoln’s Husker mania’s gone bonkers! My neighbor’s “Go Big Red” siren blares at 6 a.m. It’s louder than a tornado warning. Can’t we cheer without waking the dead? Tone it down, or I’m painting my house Iowa yellow in protest!  Myrtle, Lincoln

Columbus’s new “healthy” Runza is a travesty! Spinach instead of cabbage? Tastes like a lawn clipping sandwich. Nebraska’s soul is greasy goodness, not kale nonsense. Bring back the real deal, or I’ll deep-fry my own and sell ‘em from my garage!  Virgil, Columbus

Those Sidney wind turbines look like giant eggbeaters ruining our prairie sunset. They hum louder than a tractor convention. Nebraska’s for open skies, not sci-fi skylines. Tear ‘em down, or I’ll start a petition from my combine’s cab!  Gertrude, Sidney

Omaha’s Old Market is overrun with beards and man-buns sipping oat milk lattes. Where’s my Folgers and steak? These hipsters are thicker than flies on a feedlot. Keep Nebraska meat-and-potatoes, or I’m fleeing to Council Bluffs!  Clarence, Omaha

Gibbon’s crane tourists are a plague! They park their Priuses in my alfalfa field, snapping selfies with binoculars. The birds were here first, not your Instagram. Build a viewing lot, or I’ll sic my coonhound on their yoga pants!  Thelma, Gibbon

Bayard’s Chimney Rock is a tourist trap! The gift shop’s selling “authentic” Nebraska snow globes—made in China! My grandkids deserve better than plastic landmarks. Sell local corncobs or nothing. I’m not buying your imported junk again!  Elmer, Bayard

York’s tractor parade was a letdown. Only 12 John Deeres? Last year had 20! My cousin drove 50 miles for this snooze-fest. Step it up, or I’ll organize a combine conga line that’ll block I-80 for days!  Velma, York

Alliance’s Carhenge is an eyesore! Rusty Buicks stacked like a junkyard Stonehenge? This ain’t art, it’s a tetanus trap. Nebraska’s for wide-open plains, not scrapheap sculptures. Bulldoze it, or I’ll park my Gremlin there in protest!  Otis, Alliance

North Platte’s I-80 rest stop ran out of soft serve again! In July! My kids cried harder than a calf at branding. Stock that machine, or I’ll haul my own churn and sell cones from my tailgate. Nebraska deserves better!  Pearl, North Platte